Becoming Me

I looked into the mirror as I stepped into the apartment. I see a really beautiful woman. The kind of woman that I always wanted to look like: my brows are done, got lovely makeup on, great hair 🙂 I am feeling so thankful for everything. I am beginning to feel better consistently with the...

“Allowing Ourselves to be Needy”

I was a little perplexed when I read that title of the reading, since that is a title from The Language of Letting Go , Daily Meditation on Codependency.   When I read the passage, it affirmed and settled something that I have been struggling with for awhile.  This is what happened: back in Jan, it was...

Depression and Recovery

I am recently just realized how much I have been struggling with depression most of my life. How what it means to be living in survival mode through most of my life in my head, and how my childhood trauma has shaped me. Thank my HP for guiding my life and recovery. Sometimes I couldn't help...

Seeing Myself

I just came out of a 15 min meditation. Between restless thoughts, a couple of wisdom came through... ...I have been avoiding dealing with my life today because I feel like I won't have enough time to totally get to all of it. And also afraid of what else I "have to do" that I...

Wisdom, compassion and kindness

I am in the middle of Step 4 in ACA. And wow... it's not been easy. Every now and then, the sadness that has been coming up feels too much to bear. I have been taking it really slow. Unlike other 12 Step programs, all the old timers lovingly advise me to take as long as I...

Dad…arg…

My dad is douchy guy. He is not a down right ass who gambles and drinks. He is just a generally douchy guy. What I mean is ... when I am about put to any kind of food item in my mouth, ranging from orange to sushi to stew, he has the "need" to tell...

I noticed, am realizing and learning that…

I noticed that ... ...I love to clean and tidy up only when I have enough rest. And that's how I gage if I need to sleep or not, by my willingness to tackle a pile of stuff. ...when people are not ready to hear a message, there is not a single way that it...

Adult Child dream and diary

Lately I have been sleeping in the same bed that my grandmother slept it before she passed. For the most part I like it, it's like being with her. I still have a pillow of hers that has her name from the nursing home. Last night I dreamed many things but the one that I...

Energy and Obession

Here I am trying to get my day started. I have some email correspondence and forms to complete for work, etc. I have been feeling sleepy and not sure how to get enough energy. At first I received the suggestion of cooking breakfast for myself. And I did, and it went fine. But right after...

Learning to be exactly ME

I found myself messaging a friend last night to ask if most people here in this city wear seat belts in a taxi. I have been taking a taxi here and there, and been wondering what is "cool" or do most locals do regarding seat belt wearing. Just moved to a new city halfway around the world....